Only Now is Important
Thoughts from a very severe M.E. Sufferer. My heart goes out to her and also her devoted husband too.
My moments are mostly empty, numb, paralysed, noise assaulted, pain filled, agonised; waiting for movement, waiting for thought, waiting for feeling, waiting for something to happen that does not harm or disturb me, waiting for quiet, waiting for pain to subside, even though it will not, does not, can not.
Into this empty void of life comes awareness, just about its only gift. Awareness of being, not doing, awareness of time, awareness of what is important, awareness of life, of breath, of being, of God Himself, being here with me.
Time stopped being linear a long long time ago for me. The future cannot be planned, the past cannot be well remembered, only the present exists. Nothing is predictable, nothing is plan-able, nothing is reliable therefore only being here, now, is important. Only the present is. That is what my life has become. Time has slowed. It seems to flow…
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